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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25334341">Bear Traps</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeorgeCantWrite/pseuds/GeorgeCantWrite'>GeorgeCantWrite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Ethan Dolori and the Various AUs [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Walking Dead (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Deaf Character, Death, Gen, M/M, Queer Themes, Trans Male Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:08:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,026</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25334341</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeorgeCantWrite/pseuds/GeorgeCantWrite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ethan Dolori worked things out for himself, most of which included figuring himself out and coming to terms with it. Coming across Rick Grimes' group was an accident, but it led him to better, harsher days of his life. He figured it was worth it while it lasted.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alden (Walking Dead)/Original Character(s), Carl Grimes &amp; Original Character(s), Enid &amp; Original Male Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Ethan Dolori and the Various AUs [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1401244</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bear Traps</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ethan had made it to Washington. He’d driven himself there, remembering everything his father had taught him. He had managed to go several miles before the car ran out of fuel and he had to ditch it. He’d followed the road that he’d found himself on, knowing it would lead him further to where he needed to go. But with what he could guess – he’d end up running into the group he’d seen earlier. He hoped he wouldn’t; people were dangerous, though he knew he’d need help. People liked kids, right?</p><p>He’d continued walking, and low and behold, he’d found the group stationary. Their RV looked like it was dead. Ethan had moved into the treeline, to avoid the harshness of the sun. He got a better look of their group without them noticing him.</p><p>The boy around Ethan’s age was holding a baby. After hearing a conversation about himself, he listened in on them. They had a conversation with the bushy bearded man, he said he needed to take a leak. Ethan had his name, and the man’s who had tried to follow him.</p><p>Ethan hid himself, hiding behind a bush. He held his breath, and the boy walked straight past him, unknowingly walking past Ethan. He didn’t walk too far into the forest, just a little out of sight of the group. Ethan knew he could go and easily kill the boy, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t know what to do.</p><p>He shifted, following Carl a little more. He was aware of how lightly he had to tread, hidden in half a crouch, not wanting to alert the boy or his group. He wondered how long it would take before Carl figured out that he had been tailed. Ethan pulled the bandanna from his neck and covered his mouth and nose with it.</p><p>“I know you’re following me,” said Carl, and Ethan’s heart nearly flung itself up into his throat. “You’re lucky you didn’t follow Daryl – the guy on the RV,” he continued, walking around their area, though Ethan mirrored him, trying to evade Carl’s search. “We’re going to a community, Alexandria. You should come with us,”</p><p><em>Fat fucking chance,</em> thought Ethan, holding the hilt of his knife tightly.</p><p>“Yeah, I wouldn’t trust me either,” Carl said, and then moved quickly out of Ethan’s sight. It didn’t take more than a few seconds before there was a knife pressed against his neck, the only barrier the bandanna between his skin and the blade. “Stand up.”</p><p>Ethan complied. He held his arms out in a slight surrender, holding out his knife in his right hand; it was snatched away in the other boy’s hand. “What were you gonna do to me?”</p><p>It was what Ethan thought to be an old rigmarole. He wondered how many times this had happened to someone else. They exchanged words, and Ethan calling Carl a pretty boy had confused him, and he’d slipped down, ducking under his arm. He pulled the arm back with him, left hand pressing into Carl’s back, knocking him to the ground in one fell swoop, right wrist twisted until Carl released the knife. Ethan took it and put it on his belt.</p><p>“You kill me, my dad will kill you.”</p><p>They scuffled again, and Carl ended up on top of Ethan, pinning him to the floor. Ethan told him about Eli – how he was lost, and all Ethan wanted to do was find him. He was quick to knock Carl off balance, distracted. He pulled Carl down by the neck of his t-shirt and punched him in the throat. He grabbed a fallen knife and ran.</p><p>Carl shouted for his dad, choking noise enough to alert their group of the danger that was Ethan. He pulled the bandanna back up, though knew it was useless because Carl had taken it down to look at him. Behind him, he could hear the group trying to chase after him, and he ducked in time as a bolt landed in the tree in front of him, at head height.</p><p>He dove to the left, trying to shake the people off his tail, but there were some that were quicker.</p><p>There was a herd nearby, and he needed to either run through it, or dodge it.</p><p>What Ethan didn’t expect was the sudden burning in his leg.</p><p>He fell to the floor, the energy from his sprint sending him spiralling, and put a hand out to break his fall, and he looked back to see what had happened. “Fuck!” he hissed, eyes burning at the pain in his leg. He looked at the bear trap, trying to see if he could get loose. Ethan held the knife to the end of the bear trap, trying to flick the lock, to let his stupid leg go.</p><p>How the hell had he not seen the fucking trap?</p><p>“Hey, hey, stop right there!”</p><p>Ethan kept his head lowered, pausing his movements with the knife. He glanced up through his hair, and saw a crossbow pointed at him.</p><p>“Daryl –”</p><p>“The fuck were yeh doin’?”</p><p>Ethan sighed, flicking the knife to the side. He looked up, and the man – Daryl – reached down and pushed the bandanna down from his face.</p><p>“I was trying to get my leg out of this fucking bear trap,” he said, pointing his hands down to the trap that still had his leg. Blood was slowly making its way onto the ground.</p><p>Daryl, Aaron, the woman with dreadlocks, the man with the bushy beard and the Korean man and one of the white women were there too.</p><p>“You’re the kid I saw,” Aaron said. Ethan nodded, and tried to ignore the way his leg was starting to spasm from pain. Aaron kneeled down next to him, pulling things out of his bag that could help with the trap. “It’s not been rigged, so we can get your leg out,” he said, and seemed to acknowledge the way Ethan moved away from him, not wanting to be near him. “I’m just going to unlock the trap.”</p><p>“Who says we’re gonna do that?” Daryl asked, and Aaron turned and gave Daryl a look from beside Ethan.</p><p>Ethan grimaced at a painful spasm. “Fuck,” he said, grabbing the tools Aaron had. He twisted his body, trying not to hurt his leg even more. The others made noises of distress, but a few seconds later, Ethan’s leg was free. He pulled up the leg on his pant leg, not pleased with the sight he saw.</p><p>“Do you have anything medical in that bag of yours?” the white woman said, looking at Ethan. He looked up at her, nodding once. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do.</p><p>The Korean guy and the woman shared a look before they looked at the others. “Bring him back to the RV. We can’t leave the kid out here,” the man said.</p><p>“I’m good out here,”</p><p>“No, you’re not,” Aaron said, standing up. He held his hand out to Ethan, who ignored it, and pushed himself to his feet by himself. He winced at the pain in his leg, taking the weight off it.</p><p>Daryl and the man with the beard were quick to take away Ethan’s weapons. They didn’t get the one on his chest, hidden by what bound his chest. “Don’t fucking touch me,” he snapped, moving back. His leg didn’t agree, and he had to grab onto the tree so that he wouldn’t fall. He glared at them, not sure what was going to happen.</p><p>“Bring him back to the RV,” the Korean guy said again. “We can’t leave him out here.”</p><p>Ethan knew they could. There were worse people out there that would do so much evil to him than just leave him out in the world with an injured leg.</p><p>After a few shared glances, the two main guys relented. Aaron made to help him, and Ethan moved away.</p><p>“I’m not going to hurt you. We need to get you back to the RV before your leg gets worse.” he said. There was something about him, something that made Ethan want to trust him. After a moment, Ethan nodded. Aaron pulled Ethan’s arm over his shoulders and put an arm around Ethan’s middle.</p><p>“What the hell?” Carl demanded when they appeared out of the treeline. The others came to attention when Ethan appeared. “He attacked me.”</p><p><em>“I’ll do more than attack you, stupid white boy!”</em> Ethan snapped in his direction, and Carl reared back, surprised at the foreign language.</p><p>Aaron pulled Ethan into the back of the RV, sitting on the cramped space with another man. The woman from earlier appeared, carrying Ethan’s bag. Aaron shifted back through to the front, giving the three space.</p><p>The woman put out all the medical items that Ethan had, as well as her group’s own. Ethan sighed, grabbing some wipes to clean his hands.</p><p>“I’m going to do what I can for your leg,” the woman said, voice quiet and even. “OK?”</p><p>Ethan paused, then nodded, letting her do as she wanted. Ethan watched as she checked over his leg, trying to see if his leg was broken. “It doesn’t seem like the bone has been broken, you’re lucky with that. You’re going to need a few stitches and need to have physiotherapy once the leg is healed. But you’re going to be fine.”</p><p>“OK.” Ethan said, watching her hands move over his leg. “What’s your name?”</p><p>“Maggie. Maggie Rhee.” She looked up at him. “What about you?”</p><p>He hesitated for a moment. Only one other person knew his name. “Ethan … Dolori.”</p><p>Maggie smiled at him.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>They ended up at the community Alexandria. The drive there had been awkward. The others had given him weird looks – suspicious of him. He had been asked questions by the leader, the man with the beard who’d named himself Rick Grimes. He was Carl’s father.</p><p>Once they were outside of the gates, Ethan was helped out by Maggie and her husband Glenn. He’d seen the girl in the burned building in front of the community, how she had vanished when someone walked past Ethan and Glenn. Ethan watched as the gates opened, and they went inside, the man at the gate suspicious of them. It was weird; Ethan could hear kids in the community. He’d looked at the walls, the way everything was structured. Ethan didn’t trust it. He didn’t know how the place had managed to stay standing for so long.</p><p>He looked around at the people that watched as they entered. That was the most important thing for him, who was watching him. He looked to the right, and it felt like his heart had stopped.</p><p>His friend.</p><p>How the fuck did Alden get out too?</p><p>It felt like the air vanished from his lungs. Alden was maybe sixty feet away from him, and he had stopped what he’d been doing. He was staring at Ethan, confused and grateful all in one. Neither of them moved, the surprise locking them down where they stood.</p><p>“Ethan?” Glenn said, and Ethan looked away from Alden to look at Glenn.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“We’re gonna hand over our weapons and get you seen by the doc.”</p><p>Ethan nodded. “Alright. Sounds good.”</p><p>After being seen by the doctor of Alexandria and had been deemed well enough with the medical attention Maggie had given him, Ethan was let go to have an interview with Deanna.</p><p>“Your people say you’re Ethan Dolori,”</p><p>“They’re not my people,” he said as he sat down in the seat. “I found them today. I … had an altercation with Carl. I ran off, got caught in a bear trap. They were nice enough to help.”</p><p>Deanna nodded. “So you found them today and they let you come along? How nice. What were you doing before you met them?”</p><p>“Looking for my brother. He went missing. I’m going to find him,”</p><p>“That’s brave of you,”</p><p>Ethan frowned. “He’s my little brother. I’m not gonna let him be out there when he doesn’t have to.” He looked at her, and she kept his gaze. She looked analytical, reading the way Ethan sat, for any clues or indicators, a tick or something.</p><p>“I don’t think I’ve met someone quite like you, Ethan,” she said, leaning back and relaxing in her spot on the couch.</p><p>“Yeah, probably not.” He shrugged a shoulder, not daring to talk about what he was. “How long have you had this place?”</p><p>“Since the start,” Deanna said proudly. Ethan kept his face neutral despite the surprise he felt. “We were small back then, but we’ve long since grown. We won’t stop growing. I expect Alexandria shall live past mine, and your, lifetime.”</p><p>Ethan didn’t mention how short a life was in the apocalypse now. He just nodded along, answering her questions until she was satisfied. The others were outside, waiting for their own turns on the interview spiel when Ethan came out of the house. So was Alden. Ethan had expected him to be there. He could see the way the others looked at Alden apprehensively, but he paid them no mind, eyes only on Ethan.</p><p>“Hey, man,” he said, and Carl looked confused on the side, watching how Ethan and Alden were looking at each other.</p><p>“So it’s Ethan now, huh?” he asked, and his tone was full of teasing.</p><p>Ethan raised an eyebrow at him. “I will kick your fucking teeth in.” He pointed a finger at Alden, but they both knew it was an empty threat.</p><p>Alden grinned, looking away for half a second before he looked back up at Ethan. “Sure you can reach that high?”</p><p>It hurt his leg, but Ethan ran at him. Alden caught him with ease, even though he’d been a foot or so shorter, not on the steps. They swung around with the momentum that Ethan had come with. Ethan could feel Alden’s arms on him, holding him tightly. He couldn’t believe it.</p><p>“How the fuck are you here?” he asked, feeling the tears pricking at his eyes. He could feel the smile on his face, and he felt things he hadn’t felt in months. It was good to feel those things again.</p><p>“I heard you escaped. Took my own chances.” Alden answered. He sighed and put Ethan down gently, aware of the bandages visible on his leg. Alden smiled down at him, and Ethan felt his own pull at his face. “I got your bow, your gear. Figured you’d want it back if I ever saw you again.”</p><p>Ethan laughed a little. “And they didn’t get you?” He pointed a finger at Alden. “You trip over your own fucking feet.”</p><p>“No,” He shook his head, grin wider than ever. “Learned from the best.”</p><p>“Uh, not to interrupt this lovely moment, but what are you two talking about?” They looked over to see Aaron there.</p><p>Alden and Ethan shared a look. Ethan put a finger on his nose quickly, and Alden shoved his hand away, calling him a dickhead. “This … group we were with. The Saviors. Their leader Negan took a certain liking to Ethan and his family. They’re not good people. Ethan and Eli escaped, and I took my chances not too long after when I’d found out.”</p><p>“Saviors?” Carl asked, and Ethan had forgotten he was there, too caught up on Alden.</p><p>“They don’t do much saving. Negan did make me kill my rapist though,” Ethan said, shrugging a shoulder. “He’s got a shit load of wives, burns peoples’ faces if they disagree or try to run away from him. But he’s against rape. Not bothered about people beating each other up or dads beating their kids. But no rape.”</p><p>Alden had tensed at Ethan’s words.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ethan was staying in Alden’s house. They had spoken with Deanna, who had agreed that they could stay together since they’d been friends from before. Once they’d gotten in, Alden had showed Ethan to the shower he had.</p><p>It had taken a while for Ethan to get out of it. Once he had, he wore clean clothes that had belonged to Alden, too long and baggy on his shorter, slimmer figure. He returned to his friend not too long after.</p><p>“So you’re Ethan now? What happened to the you before?”</p><p>Ethan shrugged, before he went and sat beside Alden on the couch. Alden had given Ethan his bow he’d used to have. He’d gotten all his gear – quiver, arrows, arm guard and finger tab, not to mention the stringer too. He had his bow between his legs, feeling comfort in having it back in his hands once more. “That’s still a part of me. But me now is who I am, who I should’ve always been. I’m a boy.”</p><p>“You looked fucking weird as a girl. You bein’ a boy just seems right.”</p><p>Ethan smiled, looking away as the tears pricked at his eyes. “Good to know.”</p><p>“How’s your leg?”</p><p>“Hurts. It got caught in a bear trap.”</p><p>Alden snorted. “You’re fucking stupid.” He shook his head as he presumably imagined how it could have happened. “I was talking to those who you’d come in with – you really just punched the leader’s kid, huh?”</p><p>“At least I didn’t punch his baby.”</p><p>“It’s shocking no-one’s murdered you yet,”</p><p>Ethan smiled over at his friend. “We both know you called dibs ages ago.” He raised his eyebrows at Alden. “Not allowed to die unless it’s by you.”</p><p>“And we both know I ain’t killing ya any time soon.” Alden said, scratching at the fuzz on his face.</p><p>Ethan frowned a little, reaching over to touch Alden’s face. He could feel the roughness of the hair on his fingers, the starting of a beard. “Fuck’re you doin’ with this, huh?” Ethan asked. “You think it’s impressing anyone?”</p><p>“Caught your attention, didn’t it?” Alden said, a teasing smile on his face.</p><p>Ethan smiled, and it felt fond. He’d missed Alden so much. They’d been separated when they’d gotten to the Saviors’ compound, and it had gotten harder for the two of them to talk to each other there. Then they’d ended up at different places controlled by Negan. It had been hard.</p><p>And there was a look on Alden’s face, fond too. Ethan’s hand stilled on Alden’s face. “I missed you,” Ethan said, tilting his head as he looked at Alden. “I ran away with Eli. Missed Omma and you,”</p><p>“I missed you too, idiot boy.”</p><p>Then someone knocked on the door.</p><p>Alden sighed and got off the couch, going to the door. Ethan waited a moment and then followed him. It was Deanna. “I was just checking in on Ethan. How are you both?” she asked, smiling at the two.</p><p>“Good,” Alden said with a nod and a smile. Ethan nodded too when she looked at him.</p><p>“I can see you’re both busy catching up. I can only imagine what this is like for you two. I’ll not keep you. Oh, Ethan? Rick and the others want to talk to you at your earliest convenience. I’ve just been with them. I should say, seeing Rick without his beard? I almost didn’t recognise him.”</p><p>Ethan nodded again. “I’ll try to hide my surprise. And thanks for the heads up.”</p><p>Deanna smiled at the two before she turned on her heel and vanished. Alden shut the door and looked back at Ethan.</p><p>“Al?” Ethan asked, moving over to him, limping. Alden sighed, then moved around and pulled Ethan into a hug. “Will you help me?” he spoke up after a moment.</p><p>“To get Eli? Of course,” Alden said, pulling away from him a little. “What’s your thoughts on it so far?”</p><p>Ethan sighed. “It’s the Saviors. It has to be. They have him.” He looked away, not sure what he was supposed to say. It was fresh in his mind, even though days had passed from it.</p><p>But he was there with Alden. He hadn’t seen him in so long. But he was there – he’d ran away from the Saviors just because he’d heard that Ethan had ran away with Eli. “We’re gonna find him. We can sneak back in, try and find Eli, find your mom. We’ll figure things out. I promise.”</p><p>Nodding, Ethan resumed his place, his head against Alden’s chest, arms around his middle. He felt Alden rest his head atop his, arms around his waist, hands together at the small of Ethan’s back. They breathed together for a few minutes, relishing in each other’s company. It was quiet, and Ethan didn’t mind it much.</p><p>They broke apart after several long minutes, after Ethan had shifted his weight on his leg one too many times, and Alden’s fingers went over Ethan’s ears. “How’re the BTEs?” he asked, eyes on Ethan’s. “I stole some batteries, though I didn’t know how well they’d fit with your hearing aids.”</p><p>“I mean, they should. You know what the batteries look like.” Ethan looked up at him, confused at the look on Alden’s face. It was the same as the one earlier, fond with something else underlying it. “You good, Al?”</p><p>Alden leaned down, pressing his forehead against Ethan’s. His hands were still close to his ears, careful of accidentally knocking the aids out of place. “I don’t want to lose you.”</p><p>“You won’t.” Ethan told him, hands moving onto Alden’s shoulders. He sighed, remembering how things had been between them. The nights were shared together, cramped in a single sleeping bag; quietly spoken together. There had been something else, the feelings Ethan had hidden away because he couldn’t risk Alden’s life. He couldn’t do things he’d thought about doing. It’d been brief; they’d developed before they’d gotten to the Saviors’ compound, and then they’d gotten separated. He’d had to push all thoughts of Alden away, for both of their lives sakes’. “Al?”</p><p>And the thing was, Ethan had known at a brief time what Alden had felt towards him. He thought that maybe it had diminished over time, especially with so long apart once they’d found the Saviors. But he couldn’t ignore the way Alden had smiled when he’d seen him properly, how tightly they’d held onto each other. Ethan thought that maybe if things had been different, and he hadn’t had the opportunity to see Alden again, then maybe his feelings would have died as he’d assume Alden would have too. But he’d felt things, and they hadn’t had time to fade, and it felt like things had come back in full force.</p><p>It felt like everything shifted, and Alden made a shaky noise in the back of his throat. It was hard to tell how it happened, but then Alden was too close, and Ethan was breathless. Alden’s mouth slotted against Ethan’s, and it took any of the breath Ethan had before. Ethan’s hands shifted around Alden’s neck, pulling him close.</p><p>“That wasn’t a mistake, right?” Ethan said once they’d pulled away from each other.</p><p>Alden rested his forehead against Ethan’s. “Hope not. It wasn’t a mistake for me.” He paused, breathing quietly. “I know things are different between us. We’re both different, and I think you especially. But you’re still you, regardless. I’m still – I’m still gone for you.”</p><p>“Good to know,” Ethan said, shifting in Alden’s arms, weight less on his injured leg.</p><p>“Let’s get you off your feet, your leg must be hurtin’ bad,” Alden said, then promptly lifted Ethan off his feet. “Couch or bed?”</p><p>“Bed,”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Wolves had found their way into Alexandria. Ethan and Alden were ready to fight. Ethan’s leg had gotten better in the weeks that he’d been in Alexandria.</p><p>“Oh, fuck sakes, Ron,” Alden said beside Ethan. They looked at the kid before Ethan sighed and ran towards him, to the Wolf that was chasing Ron.</p><p>“HEY!” Ethan yelled. The Wolf turned in his direction, but Ethan had already pushed himself up. He caught the Wolf, and they swung with the momentum. Ethan’s knife went into the Wolf’s neck, and the Wolf collapsed. Ethan rolled with the fall, looking back at Ron. “Get the fuck inside, dumbass.”</p><p>Ron looked at him, disgusted. “Get the fuck away from me,”</p><p>Ethan watched him run, rolling his eyes a little. Alden appeared on his right, giving him a hand up. “There’s not that many anymore. You good?”</p><p>“I’m decent.”</p><p>There was a scream from the left and the two looked in time to see one of the Wolves coming towards them. They moved quickly; Ethan pulled an arrow from his quiver as Alden handed his bow over. He’d drawn it back and released it at the Wolf’s head.</p><p>“When was the last time you did that?” Alden asked after a moment.</p><p>“Uh. Around the Saviors?” Ethan looked back at Alden, shrugging a shoulder. In the distance, he saw Carl and that girl from the ruined house looking at them. “You two good?”</p><p>The two shared a look before Carl looked back at them. “You should come in here. It’s not safe.”</p><p><em>“This should be fun,”</em> Ethan said to Alden, who nodded, and they walked over to Carl and up into the house.</p><p>Ethan moved into the kitchen, sitting on the counter, sighing a little as he looked around the house. It was alright; bigger than the one he shared with Alden.</p><p>“You’re good with your bow,” the girl said. Ethan looked over at her, nodding his head. “You came in with Carl’s group, but you know each other? I know Alden’s been here longer than you both have.”</p><p>Ethan shrugged his shoulders, looking to Alden to take control of the situation; Alden was always better when it came to talking to people. “We were together before. Ethan and his family came across me. We were together for a few months before we ended up with a different group – bigger and worse than what we thought. They separated us; shit happened.” Alden shrugged, then reached over for some fruit in the bowl nearby.</p><p>“I escaped, not too long after Alden did the same.” Ethan pointed over at Alden who nodded.</p><p>The four went into a silence, which Ethan found awkward. But he didn’t care; he knew things would be weird with Carl there. Ethan hadn’t spoken to Carl since they’d first met, and he knew he hadn’t exactly left Carl with a great first impression. Whatever, they’d be fine.</p><p>Ethan watched when Carl went upstairs to look at his sister. The girl that had been with them took some paper, wrote something, and left it for Carl to find. “See you,” she said to the two boys before she left out of the back door.</p><p>“In a bit,” Ethan said, though he couldn’t help but think about how different things could have been. He didn’t know her name.</p><p>“Enid is … peculiar. She doesn’t talk to people often.” Alden told him when he’d noticed Ethan looking after her.</p><p>“Clearly.” Ethan pulled his knees up to his chest, feet on the edge of the counter as he rested his head atop his knees. “She alright?”</p><p>Alden moved closer to him putting an arm around Ethan’s shoulders. “Maybe like you in some way. I’d trust her if she didn’t look so miserable all the time.”</p><p>“Like you’re any better.” Ethan looked around the house. “C’mon, let’s go.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>The herd came. It was huge, and Alden and Ethan had thought about their escapes if something happened. But they were trapped. They knew that they’d have to wait the herd out or wait for it to break into Alexandria. They’d grab a walker, kill it, and use it to sneak through the undead if they really had to.</p><p>They’d made to do that, only to find that they had to help people. They didn’t have to, but they needed to. Maggie was trapped and Glenn had nearly gotten himself killed trying to save her. Ethan had almost gotten himself killed when he’d saved Glenn, and then Abraham and Sasha were shooting the walkers near them, shooting down a path for them.</p><p>They’d later found out about Carl getting shot.</p><p>With everything happening, Ethan and Alden took on more shifts. They took night shifts on the wall, keeping watch. They tried to help with the farmland that wasn’t going as planned. Things had been getting bad in terms of food, so both had done their best to try and go on runs to get seeds to plant or food that wasn’t too out of its expiry date.</p><p>Ethan had been on a late shift on watch with Carl when Daryl and Rick had returned with a strange man in the back.</p><p>“That’s kinda gay,” Ethan said, more to himself than anything. He turned and got down the ladder to see the two men as they pulled the car into the community. “I thought you were going for food, not another mouth to feed?”</p><p>“Food’s at the bottom of a lake.”</p><p>Ethan raised his eyebrows. “That sucks.” He looked into the car, to the man that was laid there. He sighed, pursing his lips a little before he reached over and rapped his knuckles on the man’s forehead. He flinched and opened his eyes, shifting to get away from him. “Yeah, you didn’t look asleep at all.” Ethan moved out the way.</p><p>“I have to admit you’ve got sharp eyes.”</p><p>Ethan nodded and looked over at Rick and Daryl. “You two suck at telling if someone’s awake or not. Check him for a concussion too.” He moved around them and made his way back up the ladder, leaning against the wooden post.</p><p>“How could you tell he was awake?” Carl asked after a few moments.</p><p>Ethan looked over at him, arms across his chest. “How he was breathing, it wasn’t like even and slow like how people usually breathe in their sleep. And he kept blinking, like, it was really obvious. Not to mention his whole posture, he looked tense. When you’re used to faking sleep with others, you can tell when someone does a bad job of it.” He shrugged his shoulders, seeing the way Carl was watching him. “Me, Al and my little brother Eli used to have to do it a lot. My dad’s a dickhead. Pretending to be asleep around him was usually better than being awake.”</p><p>There was a surprised look on Carl’s face. “What’s – what’s with you and Alden?”</p><p>“We … we met him on the road. My dad nearly killed him, didn’t want to have a guy near me. Surprise, surprise.” Ethan rolled his eyes, and Carl laughed. “My mom managed to persuade him. Said that Al would be beneficial, strong, and shit like that. I’m stronger, even if Al thinks otherwise.” There was a fond smile on Ethan’s face. “But then my dad, Jason, found a community. The Sanctuary. It’s shit. That’s where the Saviors and Negan are. Absolute bastards. We got separated. They figured Alden’s stronger, good for building and shit like that, and the last I saw him, I was getting the shit kicked out of me because I tried to steal some medicine cos Eli had a cold.”</p><p>“I’ve heard about them. They beat you up for trying to get medicine for your brother?” Carl said, eyebrow raised as he looked at the other boy. “The fuck?”</p><p>“Yeah. They had a trading system or something. But we didn’t end up having enough. You’d reckon they’d let it slide when it’s a little kid that’s gotten sick, but no. I tried to steal some, and it didn’t go to plan. There had to be three guys there. When I got caught and ran, one of them tripped me, and two others just kinda grabbed me and I ended up with a few cracked ribs, my nose got cracked and my mouth got busted.”</p><p>“And no-one stopped them?”</p><p>Ethan shook his head. “I got caught stealing. I’m kinda lucky I didn’t get an iron to my face or get murdered.” He checked his watch, sighing a little. “Five more minutes and then we’re relieved of watch duty.”</p><p>“What’re you doing after this?”</p><p>“Sleeping.” Ethan said with a nod. “Why?”</p><p>Carl shook his head. “I dunno. I was gonna say we could hang out, but it is late.” He observed the road for a little, watching a walker move across it slowly. “Y’know, when we first met, I thought you were a dick,”</p><p>“Making up for not physically having one.” Ethan shifted, properly looking at Carl. “Don’t think I ever said it, sorry for punching you in the throat. That shit hurts,”</p><p>“Yeah, I can say it did. Sorry about your leg. Getting it caught in a bear trap has to be painful,”</p><p>Ethan huffed a laugh. “Hurt like a bitch. I had Al basically carry me everywhere.”</p><p>“Are you and him -?” Carl stumbled over his words a little, not finding the right ones.</p><p>“Yeah, he’s my boyfriend.” He saw the look on Carl’s face and felt a little bit bad about it. “Right, well, I’m off to get some rest.” He patted Carl’s arm, just in time for the next shift. They got down the ladder and went their respective ways.</p><p>Ethan got into his house and saw Alden asleep on the couch. “Hey,” he said, walking over. He shook his shoulder gently, and Alden stirred, blinking a few times before he looked up at Ethan and smiled.</p><p>“Hey,” he said, reaching for him. “What’re you doing?”</p><p>“I’m back from the watch shift. What’re you doing down here?” he asked, taking Alden’s hands. He pulled him up to his feet, and Alden smiled down at him before he kissed him, hands going around him.</p><p>“I was trying to wait up for you, but I must’ve dozed off.”</p><p>Ethan smiled. “Go up to bed, I’ll lock up down here.”</p><p>“Don’t take too long,” Alden said, pressing another kiss to Ethan’s face. He moved away and made his way up the stairs as Ethan moved and went to shut the curtains. He saw someone watching, and out of the corner of his eye he realised it was Carl.</p><p>Pretending that he couldn’t see Carl, Ethan shut the curtains, thankful that they were thick. He moved around, locking the doors before he went to the bedroom he shared with Alden. “Hey, Carl was looking at the house,” he said when he entered the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him.</p><p>Alden grunted. “The fuck’s he doing that for?”</p><p>“How should I know?” he asked, shutting the bedroom door behind him. He took off his jeans and climbed into the bed beside Alden.</p><p>“Maybe it’s because he’s got a huge fucking crush on you. Astounds me that there’s someone else who likes you.” Alden said as he wrapped his arms around Ethan, face pressed into his neck.</p><p>Ethan glared at him half-heartedly, but he’d already put a hand in Alden’s hair. “Don’t get why. We’ve barely talked, and I punched him as a first meeting.”</p><p>“In the fucking throat,” Alden said, and he sounded far too amused.</p><p>“Listen, he had a knife to me, I had every good reason to punch him in the throat,” he replied, smiling at Alden. “You can’t be mean to him.”</p><p>Alden snorted. “Wasn’t plannin’ on it, Ethan.” His features softened as he looked at him. “C’mon, your ears need to breathe.”</p><p>“I honestly hate how accurate that is, but it never sounds right.”</p><p>“Blame it on your shitty genes,” Alden said, and smiled when Ethan let him take the hearing aids from his ears. He made a face before he heaved Ethan over him, so he ended up facing the bedroom door, not with his back to it.</p><p>Ethan smiled, muttering his thanks as he got comfortable beside Alden. He nodded, fingers gentle as they went over his back, faces close together. Ethan put a hand on Alden’s face, fingers splayed over his cheek, onto his neck. It was a quiet moment, one that felt like it could last a lifetime despite how brief it was. He kissed Alden before tucking his head beneath Alden’s, getting comfy.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“How are you two?” Eric asked as Ethan and Alden got closer to their house. Aaron was standing beside him, looking like he was trying to hold back a smile.</p><p>“Fine, thanks. And you two?”</p><p>“Peachy,” he said, walking down the steps to them. “People treating you OK?”</p><p>Ethan shrugged a shoulder. “I think so. I haven’t heard much bad stuff –”</p><p>“You literally need hearing aids to <em>hear</em> the bad shit –”</p><p>“Fuck off, dickhead,”</p><p>Eric chuckled at their interaction, glancing at his partner. “You two remind us of when we were younger,” Eric said when Ethan gave him a questioning look. “It’s adorable.”</p><p>Aaron looked amused at the unamused look on Ethan’s face. “We’re mainly joking; we’re E and A, and so are you two.”</p><p>“Gay people have the same parts of the alphabet,” Ethan said, shrugging a shoulder. “Hey, have you guys seen Rick? We wanted to talk to him about the Saviors.”</p><p>They pointed them in the right direction. Ethan and Alden waved to them before they went in search of Rick. They had some information to give him on the Saviors.</p><p>“This isn’t their main settlement?” Rick asked, eyes wide as he looked at the two.</p><p>“No, that’s just the satellite outpost. Negan visits them sometimes, but not all the time.”</p><p>Ethan nodded. “He’s set up in a factory, he calls it the Sanctuary,” he added, accepting the map Carl held out to him. He opened it up, flat on the table between them. “This is us,” he said, pointing to where Alexandria was. “And this is the Sanctuary.” He trailed his finger over to where the factory was. “Most of the roads are either blocked off, infested, or burned to fuck. There’s still other routes to get here from there.”</p><p>He pointed them out and looked up at Rick. He looked horrified, and Ethan wondered if it was because of what he revealed, or that the two boys had lived through it.</p><p>“This isn’t just one place. You think you get the last of the Saviors, but there’s always more of them. They’re like rats.” Alden said, standing close to Ethan, like he could protect him from the Saviors like that. “We get spotted by them, Negan knows we’re with you, this place’ll burn.”</p><p>“Or we get killed, you witness it, and have to pay. It’s always half, but that half is always what Negan decides. It’s not just food and metal or whatever that you can halve and set aside. It’s whatever he wants to remind you he’s in power,” Ethan told Rick. “You go to that satellite post; you’re starting a war.”</p><p>“If he doesn’t kill you?” Jesus asked, always the one to ask the hard questions.</p><p>“Burn your face,” Ethan started, looking over at Alden.</p><p>“Enslave you,” he added, worry lines between his eyebrows.</p><p>Ethan continued on. “Beat you to shit. Work for medicine, clothes, food. You have to earn what you take, but you’re always taking so you’re always having to earn it. If someone has, like, diabetes, you have to work for that medicine. Or Negan will make an exception.” He glanced over at Alden, who looked disgusted. “I’m hard of hearing. Batteries for these things aren’t easy to come by. Neither are the hearing aids if you don’t know where to look. So Negan gave my mom an offer; become his wife, and I get special treatment. People will go out searching for stuff to help with my hearing. He … well, he says the women have to be willing, but he’s forcing their hands.”</p><p>“Women?” Daryl repeated.</p><p>Alden cleared his throat, and Ethan knew how hard it was to talk about that shit. “He has wives. He didn’t want to live by the old rules. But no-one could be with one of his wives. So Min-seo was made to be his wife, Jason, Ethan’s dad, wouldn’t be able to be with her in any kind of way.”</p><p>“Which is kinda a fucking relief. Would rather deal with Negan than Jason.” Ethan shrugged a shoulder when he saw the look Alden gave him.</p><p>“Could you lead us to his room?” Daryl asked, and there was a determination of sorts in his face. It was like he had taken it personally, what had happened to the two boys. “We sneak in like how you two got out. We end it.”</p><p>Ethan winced a little at that. “Turn him into a martyr? Capturing him might be the best bet. Wager his life to the Saviors,”</p><p>Alden nodded, getting what Ethan was trying to get across to them. “Some, most, of the workers don’t want to be there. It’s either stay there or die out there. Save them, it’ll tide them over. More will follow. Apart from people like Simon and-and that woman.”</p><p>“Regina. Don’t forget Dwight and, uh, Gavin.”</p><p>“Dwight? Blond guy?”</p><p>Ethan nodded, looking at Daryl. “He ran off, with Sherry and her sister.”</p><p>“They were in a burned forest. The sister died. Don’t know what happened to the others.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alden helped him stay distracted as the others went to the satellite outpost. It consisted of playing music and Alden trying to sign along and be at least a little bit accurate. Ethan was still anxious about the whole thing, and he knew that Alden was too. It wasn’t easy, knowing that Rick and the others had gone out to start something like that.</p><p>Ethan had thought that maybe he’d escaped the Saviors, but Eli had to have been taken from them, and he knew that he’d go and find his brother, and Alden would help him. They wanted to see Eli again, and it was just a matter of how and when.</p><p>“Hey, you’re thinking too hard,” Alden said, gently kicking Ethan’s shin. They were sat on the couch, and Ethan had a book in his hands but wasn’t paying attention to the words.</p><p>“Fuck off,” he said, kicking him back. “Just worried,” he admitted when Alden gave him an unimpressed look. “And I don’t trust Negan or the Saviors. They’re gonna find out about Alexandria somehow. I know they will, they’re weirdly sneaky. I just think they could have gone at it differently.”</p><p>Alden sighed, then moved over until he was right beside Ethan. “They’re gonna be hitting all the outposts around the Sanctuary. It’s brutal, but it’ll get rid of Saviors, and it’ll have Negan scared. We may not know how many of them there are, but we’ll be the ones standing on top when Negan’s defeated.” He kissed the side of Ethan’s face to make a point. Ethan nodded, pushing up into Alden’s side, throwing his book onto the coffee table.</p><p>“Negan’s still dangerous. Hasn’t had a big threat like this before, so who knows what he’ll do to strike back at us.” Ethan put an arm around Alden’s middle, frowning a little as the thoughts in his head turned darker.</p><p>“They’ll be coming back, and they’ll be OK. They have Rick fucking Grimes as their damn leader. They have Daryl Dixon too. I don’t know much about either of those men, but I know they’ll do anything to protect the people here.” Alden said, resting his head on top of Ethan’s. “You ready for what’s coming?”</p><p>“I can face anything. Just get through those assholes and get Eli back.”</p><p>“Get Eli back,” Alden repeated, and Ethan heard the way his breathing got heavier, and how he tensed up. “Eli’s a tough kid. He’s gonna be OK.”</p><p>“Hold you to that.”</p><p>The two ended up taking guard on the gate until the others returned. It eased Ethan’s worries, but he saw the way Maggie was affected, how Carol looked empty. The others looked worried, and Rick pulled the two to the side before he went to see Carl.</p><p>“We think we killed Negan,” he said, getting straight to the point. Ethan’s eyebrows came up in surprise, and Alden made a noise like he couldn’t believe it.</p><p>“Are you sure?” Ethan asked. “Um, he’s a tall white guy –”</p><p>“The guy we killed wasn’t white,” Rick said, cutting him off. “He said that he’s Negan.”</p><p>“They’re … they’re all Negan. The real Negan is a white guy. He’s got a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire,” Alden said, the colour vanishing from his face.</p><p>Rick looked between the two, surprised. “The guy said he was Negan,”</p><p>“Making the Saviors conform, he asks who they are. They respond Negan. You gotta make sure you get the right guy, otherwise he gets away.” Ethan said, shrugging a shoulder. “More likely than not, Negan’s up in his room in the Sanctuary, being told that a random group attacked the satellite post. We told you to be careful.”</p><p>Rick put a hand on Ethan’s shoulder, seeing the panic in his face. “We are going to kill him. We will stop him, take down all the Saviors. It will take time.”</p><p>“Next time you go to another outpost, I wanna go, just in case he’s there. You gotta find out where Negan is, and capture that asshole.”</p><p>“Ethan,” Alden said through gritted teeth. “You’re not risking yourself like that.”</p><p>“Oh, like you wouldn’t do the same thing,” he said, looking up at Alden. He raised an eyebrow at him, and Alden looked away.</p><p>“I can’t ask you to do that, Ethan,”</p><p>“That’s why I offered,” he said bluntly. Alden patted his shoulder before he walked off. “Don’t worry about him, he’s a dumbass who cares too much.”</p><p>Rick smiled a little. “He cares about you a lot, Ethan. Offering to do something so risky like that, it’s going to hurt him.”</p><p>“Been risking my life ever since I was born, Rick,” he said honestly, looking up at the man. He had a kind, sad look in his eyes at the words. “I want to see Negan behind bars, or as close to it. I wanna see him punished for everything he’s done.”</p><p>“I’ll … I’ll talk with the others.” Rick clasped his shoulder firmly before he walked away. Ethan watched him go, feeling sick to his stomach. He hated Negan.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Enid came running up to them. “Help! Maggie’s hurt.”</p><p>Alden rushed to get help while Ethan joined her inside. He helped Maggie into a comfortable position. “What’s hurting?”</p><p>“Buh-baby,” she managed to say, and Ethan looked to Enid, worry in their faces.</p><p>“Go and get a wet cloth or something. Maggie, have you been bleeding?” he asked, and it felt bad to say something like that, the potential of a miscarriage.</p><p>Maggie nodded her head, hand gripping Ethan’s tightly.</p><p>“The woman at the outpost, she tried to cut at your stomach?” She nodded in his grip as Enid placed the wet cloth to her forehead. “Umm – does-does it feel like contractions?” he asked as others rushed in.</p><p>“Ye-yeah,” she gasped.</p><p>“Fuck, so, um, the placenta detached.” Ethan looked to the others, who looked confused. “She needs a doctor or her and the baby could die,” he said, worried and scared. He didn’t have a clue how to help her.</p><p>His mom had the same thing happen to her during her pregnancy with him and Eli, but he never knew how severe it was. All he knew was that Maggie needed a doctor before she ended up having a miscarriage.</p><p>Rick and Daryl helped Maggie up, careful not to hurt her.</p><p>“Get the RV, we’re goin’ to Hilltop!” Rick yelled to Abraham. Abraham was quick to vanish and do as he was asked. He looked back to Ethan as he followed them. “What did you say it is?”</p><p>“Detached placenta. My mom had it with me and my brother. She needs medical attention soon, before it gets worse.”</p><p>Rick nodded, then heaved Maggie into the RV. He returned to Ethan. “Can you come with us? You know more about it, it could help.”</p><p>“Uh, yeah, of course.” Ethan said with a nod. Rick looked relieved, and let Ethan go and get his gear. Alden joined him in the armoury, and soon they were back inside the RV. Ethan sat beside Maggie, holding her hand.</p><p>“Tell me about your mom,” she said, voice quiet and raspy.</p><p>“You’d like her,” he said, smiling a little. “She’s a tough woman. She learned sign language for me and taught me and my brother. She was always there for us when my dad got angry, and sometimes managed to get him to leave us alone. I’m … yeah, I’m pretty sure she knew I was trans before I did; she always cut my hair really short. That made me feel better about how I looked.”</p><p>Maggie smiled, a weak laugh coming from her. “Your mom sounds great. I can’t wait to meet her.”</p><p>“Me too. It’d be one hell of a sight seeing you and my mom become friends.” Ethan said, gently squeezing Maggie’s hand. Alden gave him a damp cloth, and it put it on her head. “You’re gonna be fine, and so is the baby. Baby’s just kicking up a fuss.”</p><p>“Sounds like he’ll be like my sister Beth.”</p><p>“He?” Ethan asked. “Sure on that?”</p><p>“Positive.” Maggie said, rubbing her thumb over the back of Ethan’s hand. “I’m goin’ to name him Hershel. After my father. If he ends up bein’ a girl, then Beth.”</p><p>“Got it all sorted out, haven’t you?”</p><p>“I like to plan ahead.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“This isn’t good,” Ethan muttered to Alden. He glanced over, nodding. “The Saviors know we’re out here, there’s only so much we can do before –”</p><p>They heard whistling, and Ethan felt the bottom of his stomach drop. Their group tried to run away from the direction the whistling was coming from, but something was happening. They were being herded.</p><p>They had to kneel. Alden was between Aaron and Carl. Ethan was between Maggie and Abraham.</p><p>“Pissing our pants yet?” Ethan felt the dread in his body as he looked up to see Negan appear out of the RV. Ethan looked over at Alden, who had the same wide eyes as he had.</p><p>Negan spoke, teasing them about being so scared, he’d threatened to kill Maggie and there had been a scuffle. But then he seemed to notice Ethan and Alden. “Oh-ho!” he grinned, pointing the bat at Ethan. “You started something, kid. I’ll be the first to admit it; I didn’t think you had it in you. Let alone changing yourself like you have here. Hell, I gotta say, you even look like a boy.” Negan looked over at Alden. “I knew I couldn’t trust you. I should’ve known you’d go after this kid. You made the workers think they could get out. But that … well, that just means all those lives are on your heads.”</p><p>Ethan clenched his jaw, fists tight and shaking on his thighs. He breathed in slowly, then shifted, no longer resting on his calves, sitting up straight from where he knelt. “Maybe you just need to have more authority.” He looked up, raising an eyebrow at Negan. “If three kids can escape from you, then you really need to re-evaluate your security system.”</p><p>Negan sucked on his teeth, coming to kneel in front of Ethan. “Careful, kid, you don’t know what you’re doing.” He stood back up, heaving a sigh. “I was just gonna punish you with your mom, but now I see what I’ve gotta do.”</p><p>Min-seo was pulled out from the crowd, forced to her knees in front of Ethan. Negan was quick; he pulled the gun from the back of his pants, pointed it behind Min-seo’s head and pulled the trigger. There was a collective gasp, a flinch backwards. Ethan felt the prickling burning at the back of his eyes, could feel the blood splatter on his face. His breathing came out in sharp gasps as he looked down at his mom, dead at his feet.</p><p>“Mom.” Tears streaked down his face, and he couldn’t look away from her, trying to breathe normally, but all he could smell was her blood, the smell of the gunshot.</p><p>“Now. I get it, hella shocking. I gotta admit, you two made some mistakes,” Ethan saw the finger pointed to him, then Alden. “But that’s not enough. Minnie paid for your mistakes. But who’s gonna pay for the lives Rick Grimes and his pissy little gang took, huh?”</p><p>There was a smile on Negan’s face, and Ethan knew what was going to happen. “Eenie Meenie, minie moe.” Ethan watched as Negan walked along the line, pointing his bat at their heads. He knew what was going to happen.</p><p>“… to pick … the very best one …” Ethan watched the way Negan’s feet moved. “And you … are … it.”</p><p>Ethan took a shuddering breath, looking up at the bat directly in his face. He felt his mouth go dry, and he glanced out of the corner of his eye to see the way Alden was starting to break. He could feel himself shaking, and he held his hand up, the signs for I, L and Y. It wasn’t like saying the real thing. But he had to let Alden know.</p><p>“Anybody moves, anybody says anything, cut the boy’s other eye out and feed it to his father.” Ethan could hear the distressed noises from Alden, and he couldn’t move to him, to hug him and express how much Alden meant to him.</p><p>Ethan looked up in time for the bat to swing down into his head. He fell with the hit, hands out in front of him to break the fall. Blood smeared his hands, and he was blinded by pain.</p><p>“Taking it like a CHAMP!” Ethan heard Negan, but everything felt fuzzy, and he could only just realise that his hearing aids had fallen out from the hit. Ethan groaned, forcing himself to sit back up. His head was burning, and the blood was dripping down his face, into his eyes. He wasn't going to let himself go down on one hit.</p><p>“That all you got, fuckface?”</p><p>Negan laughed before he swung it back down on Ethan’s head.</p><p>He couldn’t get back up.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I never seem to give Ethan a happy ending in these AUs. But then again, I do love writing angst.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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